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Tori Dickson, 30 -- Pneumonia

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Tori's Blog 2 days prior to her death

oh woe is me... poor poor Tori!! lol. So this morning I woke up, had back pains all night again - couldn't sleep. This has been happening a lot lately. So I wake up, couldn't breath - very hard to breath deep. Got read, then started having a coughing attack. I notice blood in my mucus and my chest gets harder to breath. I start crying, it hurtts and frankly I am scared - I have never felt like this. So I call the on call nurse, she ends up asking me if I have a history of cardic arrests - um no. Have I been using cocaine latley - yea no. She tells me I need to call 911, I say "no i will call my Dr when the office opens" she says "ok well just know you have been told to call 911". - um ok. (anyone who knows me knows I am hard headed - I hate the Dr, and frankly I would have passed had the next thing not happened).

So like 10 minutes later I feel woozy and lay down. All of a sudden the sharpest pain EVER happens in my chest, and now it's hard to breath - I start crying, I am scared. So I am now thinking (because the nurse mentioned cardiac arrest) I am having either angina or a fucking heart attack. Yea good times!! I am 30 years old and on the same path as my father. He died 10 years ago - i am lucky enough to not only look exactly like him, but have his temper, his eating habits and his outlook on life.... can we say 'FUCKED'??

So Rachel is my god send, takes me to the hospital where we sit for 8 hours in the ER. For one I went in for chest pain - so they treat me for that. I was so fucking hungry and moody and i nawful pain - I was not pleasent. But my wife is an angel and puts up with me, got me a cute lil lion to cheer me up and just spoiled me with love, back rubs, water runs, and laughter. So 8 hours later, I get told I have pneumonia. WTF!!!??? I have not even had a cold lately! But apperently you can just get it.....

So I will be home, resting... I am glad this isn;t AS serious as I thought, but it is putting a lot in perspective for me. I need to better my life. I am also thankful I have insurance. AND I am thankful this is happening now, because we go to Baltimore next Friday!!! UGH!! JUST in time for me to feel better. one good thing about today.. I got some mutha fuckin oxycode!! My favorite!!!! YAY!!! Made the 8 hours damn near worth it!!!

So besides my gloating on my lovely wife, and what a fucking saint she is... no really no one really knows how good she is to me. I have a wonderful BFF who cares for me - I love her so much!! She is my "twin sister seperated in heaven". I am grateful everyday for her. I also have a good nephew who takes good care of me. We have our rough moments, but I love him. He is very good to me also. I am very blessed with the people I have in my life. I do not always show it, and they all put up with me, and love me. I would die for all 3 of these people. They could have my kidneys - anything, my life for theirs - in a heart beat.

Ok, so yea ... send me some mutha fuckin pitty!! I am NEVER sick like this!!! I feel like I got kicked in the chest by a horse and then someone is squeezing the shit out of my lungs....



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